Rogue Relations
by FreakazoidChimpanzee
Summary: A sick and horrible slash story with sex and violence. Don't read! This is your only warning! Two-Face/Riddler sticky gross horrible! Ahhh! Get it away!
1. Harley's Blunder

For my sick and twisted purposes, I made Eddie a bit younger than he is. I own nothing!

* * *

Edward Nigma had been around the criminal block. He had come up with the most complex conundrums, and solved the most difficult of puzzles. In Nigma's natural element of brain teasers, he reigned supreme. Sadly, this did not transfer well to how to handle day to day life. Even more depressing, being a super genius constantly fixated on puzzles meant he did not concentrate on social interactions at all, making him what Harley affectionately referred to as a "social retard".

All of the 'masked villains' of Gotham had been meeting up at Ozzy's finalizing a grand idea on how to dupe the caped crusader when Harley made some offhanded remark about the Riddler's extravagantly drawn out plans being the result of him not getting enough tail.

"I mean, honestly, Riddlah. When's the last time ya got laid?" To be honest, he had never been 'laid'. Sex was how children were created, and he did not want children. His relationship with his father was enough to make him never want to bring another soul into the world. Besides, sex was unnecessary. He was just never interested. The most anyone taught him about it was his dad by leaving a girly mag in the bathroom by accident. He didn't find the women that attractive. All fake breasts, bleached hair, and airbrushed. Or maybe it was his dad beating the shit out of him when he saw him holding the mag that made him not want to have sex, nor associate those things with something pleasurable.

"What? What does that have to do with taking down Batman?" He was genuinely confused as to why Harley gave a shit about his sex life. None of them discussed their sex lives. Harley's face dropped into one of horror, then extreme manic. She pointed at him and started laughing. "What?"

"You've nevah had sex!" How did she know? What gave it away? Why did it matter? They were trying to finalize some of the most intricate and complicated, well thought out, joint plans they had ever all attempted together. "Oh my God! Hahahahahahahahahaha! I can't believe it! How old are ya, Ed? Mid twenties? No wondah you spend so much time workin' on your crap!"

"It's not crap!" He snapped defensively, he worked hard and poured every ounce of love and devotion (or cold and calculating menace) into each of his creations.

"Hah! You don't even deny it!"

Ozzy cocked a brow in surprise and let out a slight chuckle. Ivy shook her head in a tsk-tsking fashion. Two-Face let out a grin that screamed 'you are missing out'. Croc looked at him like he was crazy, Croc of all peop-, well, things. Dr. Crane raised a brow in curiosity. The Joker was focused on the plans on the table.

Harley walked around the table and clapped him heartily on the back, which he tolerated, then on the ass followed by a firm squeeze. He froze. That was an area no one other than his hand with a bar of soap in the shower went for purely platonic reasons. "Nice ass, Eddie."

He didn't know what he looked like, but if every other villain's expression of concern was any indication, it wasn't a pleasant expression. He swiftly grabbed his plans, he was in charge of some of the more intricate traps, and marched out of the club with a farewell of, "Fuck this working together shit."

In all honesty, he liked Harley, but she never knew when to draw the line. Actually, she knew, she just chose to ignore the line.

He felt… deficient. Like there was some rite of passage he was supposed to have taken, and now there was something wrong with him that made him less of a person. He hated feeling deficient. Now he was depressed. He didn't want sex, but he didn't want to be looked down upon by his peers for something so trivial. That was it, he felt humiliated, and he didn't even understand why.

"Fuck!" He snapped as he kicked a can down the empty streets, his brown raincoat billowing out behind him. How had everything gotten so derailed? He frowned as he heard a familiar voice behind him.

"Does it anger you so much?" Two-Face. How annoying.

"No." He ground out as he picked up his pace intent on getting to his house without the psychopath Two-Face following him home. The footsteps followed him for about a block, until he decided he had had it. Edward spun around with enough fury to make Two-Face take a step back. "Riddle me this, what the fuck do you want?"

Two-Face took a few minutes before responding. No wait, not Two-Face. Two-Face didn't cower from anyone. "I thought I could offer you a ride home."

"Oh." He felt… rude… "I apologize." He looked at the ground a bit nervously. He really didn't need to let his temper get the best of him. "Yeah, sure." It was a long walk home. He had taken the subway to get to the Iceberg. The trains were long closed by now though.

Two-Face led him to his car. The driver promptly opened up the door and the two of them got in. The ride was in awkward silence, even more awkward when he was let out at his flat. Harvey was polite enough to walk him to his front door. He unlocked it, and half stepped inside.

"We can count on you, right?" Nigma sighed at the question as he turned around to face the scarred man.

"Yes. You can count on me." There was no way he wasn't going to be a part of the biggest heist of the century. With that Harvey smiled softly. Edward smiled back as a friendly gesture. Harley had at least taught him not to gape at people like he used to.

Then something in Harvey's eyes changed. In the next second, Edward found his mouth trapped against Two-Face's lips. His shock allowed Two-Face's tongue to swipe inside his mouth. He suddenly realized they were being inched further inside his front door.

What was happening? He had never felt so bewildered. He knew what was going on, but he didn't know why. Two-Face wasn't gay, right? Harvey had a fiancé at one point. When were their coats removed? How did the front door get closed? How did they get on his bed?

His wake up call was his pants being yanked down, and a hand squeezing his ass followed by a husky, "You do have a nice ass…"

"Stop it!" He scrambled out of the bed quickly and into the adjoining bathroom, slamming the door closed and locking it.

"Hey…" It was Harvey's voice.

"Get out." After about five minutes the front door was heard opening and shutting. He couldn't believe what had happened.


	2. Two-Face's Inner Monologues

What Harley said had upset the brainy Nigma. Honestly, he had never suspected the kid of being a virgin, but he had never cared enough about him to consider anything beyond professional thoughts. They usually only crossed paths in Arkham or at the Iceberg. The kid was cheeky and smart, both qualities Harvey could appreciate. He was also murderous and conniving, both qualities Two-Face enjoyed. He had never considered the Riddler as anything other than the Riddler, some manipulative and genius super villain. Never before had he considered him as some geeky and socially inept guy that had never touched another human before.

Anyway, when Nigma had stormed out, Harley pouted and the other criminals got angry that she'd chased off their technician. Tetch would have been assisting Riddler, but he had failed his parole hearing. So, Nigma had been working night and day by himself designing exactly what their massive plan called for. He had dedication, and what apparently was zero fun in the bedroom.

The Joker was more pissed off than anyone else when Nigma had stormed out and effectively mumbled for them all to go fuck themselves. To relieve tension, Harvey had offered to go smooth over Harley's blunder.

He found Nigma easily enough, as he was the lone man on the streets carrying several rolls of plans and was walking away from the Iceberg in a huff. He signaled for his driver to start the car as he approached Nigma.

"Fuck!" He kicked a can down the street.

"Does it anger you so much?" He asked more just trying to break the ice.

'We can take care of that for him.'

'Shut up, that's the last thing this situation needs.'

"No." Nigma didn't even spare him a turn around and picked up his pace. He followed after him a bit, trying to think of what to say.

'Tell him we'll fuck him if being a virgin is such a conundrum.'

'No.'

'C'mon, Harvey. I like 'em young and crazy. Heavy emphasis on the crazy. Even heavier emphasis when that crazy involves murder or something cruel.'

'Stop it.'

'When was the last time we had a good romp with some hot piece of ass?'

'This isn't a hot piece of ass. This is the Riddler. A nerdy co-worker.' He hadn't expected Nigma to turn around abruptly.

"Riddle me this, what the fuck do you want?" He jumped back a bit in shock.

'What did I say, Harvey? The kid's cute, right?' He had apparently taken off his mask as he hit the streets. Obviously, not wearing a mask would help him blend in. He actually did have an attractive and youthful face. Ok. So, Two-Face had been right about him being cute. 'Yeah I was. Lemme at em. I'll keep him coming back for more.'

'No!' He had almost lost control.

"I thought I could offer you a ride home."

'Atta boy!' The shock and embarrassment on Nigma's face was actually pretty attractive. He looked like he wanted to run away and hide. 'Like a rabbit about to be slaughtered.'

'Go away.'

"Oh… I apologize… Yeah, sure." He refused to meet his gaze after that. They had piled into his car, and that was that. The drive was silent, at least outwardly silent. Two-Face and Harvey had been fighting for dominance the whole way.

When he got to Nigma's run down flat, he walked the kid to his front door. Nigma opened the door and stepped inside.

"We can count on you, right?" Nigma turned with a sigh.

"Yes. You can count on me." There was better lighting on Nigma's porch. He was an attractive youth. He unintentionally let himself smile at the thought. Nigma smiled in response. He actually looked like some innocent angel rather than a sadistic nut.

'That's it!' Harvey felt himself lose control as Two-Face slammed their mouth into Nigma's. His eyes were wide with confusion.

'Hey! Hey! Hey!' He tried to regain some control. Two-Face wasn't having it. Somehow they ended up in the bedroom and on the bed.

What finally broke Nigma's utter confusion, and made Harvey lose his temper was when Two-Face ripped the kid's pants down to squeeze his ass, which did feel nice, and utter some disgusting comment.

"Stop it!" The kid was off the bed grasping at his pants, and behind a locked bathroom door in an impressive amount of time.

He felt bad. Really bad. A first time for anything was meant to be special. Two-Face never made anything special.

'Hey, I made it special!' He ignored Two-Face.

"Hey…" He called through the door.

"Get out." A miserable voice replied. He complied, not wishing to give his reluctant host any more grief.

'You should have stormed in there and taken what was ours.'

'Fuck off.'


	3. Ivy's Gift

The next week of working on the plan had been weird. The Riddler was professional, but less goofy and much colder with everyone than was usual. Especially with Two-Face. He was at least polite when it was Harvey. He did not laugh, or joke around with Harley. It kind of sucked the life out of planning. When they were done, he delivered and set up whatever contraptions they had needed or deemed best, and left riddles where they were necessary. The riddles themselves sounded a bit more menacing than usual.

"Ripped from my mother's womb, Beaten and burned, I become a blood thirsty killer."

"I drive men mad for love of me, Easily beaten, Never free."

"I live in water, If you cut my head I'm at your door, If you cut my tail I'm fruit, If you cut both I'm with you."

The Riddler, Two-Face and a few others had done their part, now it was mainly up to the Joker to do his part.

Harvey couldn't quite stand the silence that had fallen between the two. He wanted to clear the air about what had happened the previous week, but was a bit intimidated. The few villains that did not need to be at their traps to do their part were in the Iceberg's private lounge. This included Two-Face at the bar, drinking. Ivy at the bar as well, ordering two drinks; A water, probably for herself, and some sort of non-alcoholic beverage… a soda? The Penguin would come in and join the group left in the lounge every once in a while, then leave to go tend to the rest of his establishment. The Riddler was hunched over a few monitors. Every once in a while he would pick up a walkie and mumble something into it. Either Joker or Crane would be heard responding. Harvey noticed Ivy approach Edward and hand the soda to him. He thought it was odd considering he thought she hated the Riddler. Edward did not appear to notice however. He absently thanked her and intently watched his six or so small monitors. Three were at his traps. Three were at his riddles.

"Batman's figured out the first riddle. En route to Iron and Black Smith showcase at Museum." The Riddler mumbled.

"He's pulling up now." Dr. Crane voiced back his acknowledgement. Edward stretched, then turned to the drink on the table by him. He looked around puzzled. He probably hadn't realized that he had taken it from her. He was fairly engrossed in what he was doing. Ivy was at the opposite end of the bar of Harvey. He decided to approach her for some idle chit chat. Hopefully it would relieve his boredom. He noticed the Riddler snap his attention back to the screens. A lot of action seemed to be going on in one. Until finally what looked like an explosion took out the camera. The Riddler tapped his fingers on the table in impatience.

"Crane?" Ed actually seemed concerned. Well, the two nuts spent quite a bit of time together in lock-up.

"Riddler. I know you're there. I'm still alive and I will find you." Batman's voice rang out from the walkie. The Riddler stiffened then relaxed.

"Duh, obviously, and good luck." He regarded the next screen with a riddle and saw Batman approaching the second puzzle scrawled across a wall. Batman actually sat there for a good thirty minutes before Two-face got bored and continued his trip to see Pam.

Pam regarded him with kind eyes, kind for Pam that was. For a plant, she was fairly cool toward many. "How are you Ivy?"

'She's on fire!'

'Shut up.'

'I mean, when a plant's on fire, she's on-'

'Shut the hell up.'

"I'm well. You?"

"Eh. Kind of stressed."

"Yes, you seemed down. Is it because of your rejection?"

"What?"

"Edward confides in Harley. They are close friends you might say." She took a sip of her water.

'How close…' Two-Face growled in his mind.

"Oh, really? What rejection are you referring to?"

"Don't play ignorant. There is no need. Well, Harley confides in me. Therefore I'm aware of what happened between you and the Riddler recently."

"Croc, Batman's figured out the second riddle. He's on his way to the gold display at the Capitol building. Be ready."

"Gotcha." A menacing laugh trailed off until the walkie shut off. The Riddler stretched and regarded the drink again with renewed interest. He finally turned back to the screens.

"Anyway. I believe you should take him to your penthouse and talk things over with him. After we're done here that is."

"Why would he come near my pent house?"

"You're smart. Figure something out."

"Why not talk with him here or at a bar?"

"Too many prying ears and eyes." She had a point. He noticed she kept shooting her eyes toward the Riddler tensely.

"Oh yeah! I know you don't like the Riddler so why did you-"

"You fucking idiot!" The Riddler pounded on his table groaning. Croc had inevitably done something stupid. Obviously he would be the one to do it.

"Riddler, I'm coming for you." Ed groaned at the Batman's rambling through Croc's walkie.

"Yeah yeah yeah…"

Batman was now at the fifth screen with another riddle.

"You were saying something?" Ivy broke his concentration.

"I was? Oh. Yes! Why would you bring a drink to someone you hate?"

"Hate is such a strong word. You like him. Harley likes him. And I like you and Harley."

"Alright… but that doesn't answer-"

"Joker. Harl. He's heading your way."

Both voices rang out in amusement. The Riddler, finally grabbed the soda and started to drink it. Two-Face noticed Ivy's smile. Soon though, it turned to one of horror. Edward slammed the empty glass on the table and stood to stretch and grab his coat.

"What did you do that for!?" Ivy looked frantic.

"What?" Edward looked around himself in confusion.

"You drank all of that in one gulp?!"

"Yeah… was it yours?"

"No!" Ivy snapped defensively.

"Then why do you care how I drink my drinks?"

"Be-because! It's unhealthy!" She nodded her head though it was obvious she was slightly panicked. Ed stared at her for a few minutes.

"Pamela. What was in my drink?" Harvey raised a brow and regarded them both.

"Something to help you relax! I didn't expect you to drink it so quickly though! You'll need an escort home!" She grimaced. "A strong one…"

"What was it?" Ivy shook her head fervently.

"There is no way I'm going to be anywhere near you. Let it run its course and you'll be fine. Tah!" With that she briskly left the lounge. Ed's jaw dropped.

"Crazy fucking bitch! What the hell?" Ed started pacing. Then he grabbed his coat and the glass and left. Harvey ran after him.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find Crane and have him explain what the hell that crazy plant gave me!"

"How would he know?"

"He's a chemist." They made it outside of the Iceberg.

"Oh."

'We have chemists. We have one working for us in our building.'

"I know of a chemist! He lives in my building and works for me! He's one of the best!" He grabbed the Riddler's shoulder, and flagged down a taxi. Ed regarded him with some suspicion before getting inside the cab with a grumbled 'fine.'

In the 30 minutes it took to get to the building, a few strange things happened. One, Ed kept looking his way. Two, Ed started blushing whenever they made eye contact. Three, Ed started leaning on him. When they got to the building, he appeared to be having trouble walking. Harvey grabbed him by the arm and led him inside. He gave the glass to the woman at the front desk and instructed her with what to do. Take it to the lab, have them figure out what it was and whether or not there was an antidote.

He led a now woozy Nigma up to his penthouse. He stepped inside and allowed Nigma to sit on the leather sofa. The man immediately fell to his side and started mumbling.

"Are you ok?"

"M'fine. S'hot." He started unbuttoning his jacket.

'Oh yeah, it is!'

'Oh no, it's not!'

"I'll turn down the thermostat and get some water for you." Harvey left the living room, turned down the thermostat near the kitchen, then went inside the kitchen to pour a glass for his guest. Soon he left, turned out the kitchen light, and made his way over to the Riddler.

A resounding crash echoed in the empty penthouse. Water splattered across the floor with glass shards.

"Wha-wha-wha?!" Harvey frantically gasped out.

"S'hot…" Edward was lying on the leather sofa, mask and hat on the floor, hair askew. His coat was crumpled beside him near his hat. His jacket, vest and shirt were all unbuttoned and exposing his taught and lean chest. He had apparently been trying to unbutton his pants too, as they were now exposing a slight happy trail, and were completely open.

"Ho-holy, Oh… my God…"

'Thank you, Ivy!' He wasn't sure which of his personalities had praised the plant woman. He didn't care. He had enough masturbation material stored away in his memories for years to come now. Harvey did not want to take advantage though.

Nigma pushed himself up with much effort, and removed the rest of what was constricting his arms and chest.

"Hey, Harvey…? Can you help me take my pants off?" He was about to decline when Two-Face seized control of the situation.

'Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!'

'No! I need this! We need this!'

"Sure, C'mon." Two-Face helped Nigma up and half carried him to his bedroom. He laid him on the large bed and pulled the pants down, taking the shoes and socks with them. Apparently Eddie had decided not to wear underwear that day. No, Two-Face had just seen fit to remove them with the pants.

The vision before him was amazing. The now nude Nigma ran his hand through his reddish chestnut hair, and eventually spoke the words that caused Harvey to wrest control back from Two-Face before he pounced.

"I feel funny… Harvey… What's going on? Is it the thing Ivy gave me?"

'Damn it Damn it Damn it! Harv! What the hell is wrong with you?!'

'This is wrong. I'm not taking advantage of someone who's been drugged.'

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth!'

"I'm afraid so. I'll go check on that chemist. Are you still hot?"

"No."

"Well, feel free to cover up and rest. I'll sleep on the couch."

"Ok." With that, Ed turned over and pulled the covers over himself. Harvey walked into the living room with Two-Face kicking him for what he gave up. He called Ivy as he surveyed the broken glass and clothing by the couch.

"Hello?"

"Pam. I need you to undo this thing. It was a very thoughtful gift, but I'd rather have a coherent and willing partner."

"Ugh. Fine. It'll wear off by morning. He would have been more fun had he not had so much to drink at once!"

"No, Pam. Drugging him was unnecessary. But again, thank you for thinking of me."

"Of course." She sighed from the other line. "Someone's trying to call me, hold on a sec." After five minutes she was back on. "Harvey? Are you still there?"

"Yes." An exasperated Ivy groaned in frustration.

"That was Harley. She said to lay low tonight. Joker actually managed to injure Batman, but he still escaped. So far, he knows Crane, Croc, Harl, Joker, and Ed were a part of this." Her end grew silent, as did his. He was certain they were both thinking the same thing. Would Batman hassle them for information? Not until he recovered a bit, unless boy wonder or the bat bitch decided to get involved.

"Be safe, Ivy."

"Ditto."

"Good night." With that, he hung up his end and proceeded to clean the living room floor. He tossed the Riddler's outfit into his laundry chute. His dry cleaners would know what to do with it. Eventually he collapsed on his couch and passed out.


	4. Scarecrow the Sometimes Asshole

Two-Face awoke the next morning to his phone ringing. He rolled across the couch to find the annoying electronic device that had apparently rolled onto his floor in the night.

"What the hell do you want?!" There was silence on the other end, eventually, Crane's voice came through.

"Hello Two-Face. May I come up?" He was thoroughly annoyed. He did not want to be aiding a wanted criminal, but he supposed he already was.

"Fine." The less he acted out of character the better. He paged the woman at his front desk to allow the strange, thin doctor in.

A few minutes later and Dr. Crane was in his living room.

"What do you want?" He gruffly got out as he stretched his back, popping it here and there.

"Rough night?" Two-Face grimaced remembering Nigma being naked and within his- Nigma! Nigma was unconscious on his bed! "I didn't realize you already had company." He snapped his head up only to see Crane staring over his head. He turned his head rapidly to see what he was looking at and realized he had left his bedroom door open. There was obviously a human-esque bundle under the covers with brownish-red hair sticking out of the top.

"I do have a guest, but he was fairly intoxicated. I let him sleep in my bed and I took the couch." Harvey calmly diffused the situation. Crane nodded his head in understanding.

"Someone I know?"

"What did you want to talk about?" Harvey diverted.

"I've been looking for Edward. He wasn't at home, I was wondering if maybe you knew if the authorities had picked him up or not."

'Why do you want Nigma?' Two-Face snapped in Harvey's mind. As if on cue, Edward grumbled in the other room and sat up in the sheets. Nigma instantly shut his eyes in pain and covered his ears.

"Why is everything so loud and bright…" he groaned.

"Oh." Crane raised his brow and turned his questioning gaze to Harvey. "I see."

"You see nothing. Nothing happened. Ivy-" Crane walked toward the bedroom.

"Hello, Edward." Nigma actually jumped, then blearily tried to focus his eyes on Dr. Crane.

"Hey… what are you doing in my apartment?" Crane's face was almost amused.

"You are in Harvey's apartment." Edward stopped moving and slowly processed the information. It was obvious when it sunk in as Edward's face became more and more horrified.

The only riddle on Edward's mind that moment was, "Why am I naked?"

He looked imploringly at Dr. Crane who blushed slightly and looked away in a rare show of discomfort. "I was unaware. I certainly would not know. Maybe you should ask Harvey."

Maybe he should. Of course he should. He really did not want to. He was suddenly aware of Harvey's presence in the doorway. "Look. Nothing happened-"

"Why am I naked?"

"Now look, I can explain. You were drugged-" Ivy! That bitch!

"Where's Ivy?" He needed clothing to find her and kill her. She would do this to him.

"I'm not certain, but-"

"Where is my clothing?"

"My drycleaners have-"

"Get it back." He did not want to hear excuses. Though he was mortified that Two-Face/Harvey had obviously seen him drugged out of his mind and in the buff, he was fairly certain there would be signs of lovemaking. There were not. No bodily excretions and no pain. Ed had grown curious about what Two-Face had actually intended to do the night he almost jumped the Riddler's bones. After a quick search on the internet, a multitude of gay sex sites popped up.

He had been incredibly embarrassed and modified his search from 'gay sex' to 'how to perform gay sex'. What he had concluded about trying it out for the first time consisted of pain, and required copious amounts of preparation and lubricant.

That had actually pissed him off more. Two-Face was an inconsiderate shit. He was in no pain though, so he assumed that nothing major had happened in his unconscious state.

Two-Face left the room looking miserable. Obviously he was off to get the clothing.

"You may not want to be dressed in your Riddler ensemble." He had forgotten Jon was there. "Joker failed last night."

"Oh… Great."

"In fact, he wants to regroup with us."

"Why?" Ed was instantly suspicious. The Joker had a tendency to place blame on anything and everything but his own shortcomings. He was suddenly concerned for Harley. "Is Harley alright?"

"I don't know." Crane showed no concern in his face, but it was obvious in his eyes that he was equally as suspicious as Edward.

"When does he want to see us?"

"That all depends. He wishes to see us separately." Edward's stomach plummeted in his gut.

"Alone?"

"It would seem that way."

"When does he want to see me?"

"After me, tonight." Edward let out a sigh. Harvey was soon back with his costume. Ed accepted it and asked Dr. Crane and Dent to leave while he changed.

Crane explained the situation to Harvey. He rolled his eyes. They had done everything correctly.

Everything.

Ivy had provided poisons. Penguin had provided a base of operations. Scarecrow had created several batches of fear toxin and wore down Batman. Croc was Croc and further wore out the bat. Two-Face had provided funding and manpower. Riddler planned everything down to the dangerous contraptions used and the puzzles to lead Batman to where the Joker wanted him. It was up to Harley and ultimately the Joker to finish him off. Harley was generally pretty good about doing her part. She had probably taken the brunt of the blame from Joker though.

'She's an idiot.' Two-Face grumbled.

'But she doesn't deserve to be abused.' Harvey countered.

'Ivy always tries to talk her out of going back and she always does.'

'That doesn't make her an idiot. She's just sick. She needs help.' Edward stepped out with his brown rain coat hiding the outfit, and his mask and bowler not on his head. Harvey still had the very nude image in his mind.

'Oh God, we coulda hit that last night Harv.'

'… Oh God… I know…'

"What time is it?" Crane looked at his wristwatch.

"4:53"

"What time do we have to be there?"

"9:11"

"Why such a weird number? Never mind. Just enough time for a last meal and to write out a will for the hench wenches." Nigma started to walk out.

"Let me drive you to your apartment." Harvey couldn't stop himself. He wanted to be around him just a tad bit longer.

"No. I'll take the sub."

"I'll go with you."

"I'm not a fourteen year old girl! I'll go by myself." Harvey felt hurt. Edward winced after looking at him. Did he really look so pathetic? "Fine…" Ed sighed. Crane looked at him incredulously, but said nothing about the exchange.

"I'll go with you two as well." Two-Face snarled in annoyance making Crane raise a brow. "Are you two seeing each other? I wouldn't want to interrupt anything intimate."

"No!" Edward hurriedly strolled to the elevator and started frantically pushing the down button.

"Why are you afraid, Edward?"

"Shut up." Edward was visibly shaking in anger from behind. His ears were turning the brightest shade of red. Harvey could only imagine the shade of his face.

"Are you afraid of sex?"

"Shut. Up." He started slamming his fist on the down button.

"Is it because of what your father did?" Edward froze then slowly turned around with the fluidity and grace of a snake about to strike. A twisted smile found its way on his face. The smile Two-Face loved. Not so much Harvey.

"Excuse me?" Crane gave his own small smirk.

"Well, I can only speculate as to what actually occurred." It grew tense and quiet.

"What makes you willing to speculate on anything?" Edward stared Crane down. Crane was silent and gave a non-committal shrug. "If you steal, or poke through, any more of my files in Arkham we will no longer be on such chummy terms."

Harvey finally found himself incredibly uncomfortable. The ding of the elevator was a welcome distraction.


	5. Skipping Joker's Gala

'That son of a bitch!' Edward was furious. Crane was implying that he had been molested by his father, a notion shared by many of the staff at Arkham. That was simply not the case. His dad had just beat him relentlessly every day throughout the duration of his youth. Some of that had included humiliation, but his father hardly seemed to get off on it. Mostly just sick shit like stripping Edward in the snow and locking him out of the shitty trailer they lived in. There were also several times when he was forced into less than savory situations that the psychiatrists had regarded as 'sexual abuse'. His father had never inappropriately touched him though.

They all thought he was lying, but he wasn't. His reluctance for sex had nothing to do with sexual abuse.

He was actually starting to even regard Crane as a friend. 'Big mistake.'

They had all loaded onto the elevator. Edward had inched as far away from both of them as was humanly possible.

Harvey was a bit nervous about the exchange. Someone scarred from sexual abuse would be so difficult to get into the sack. He mentally kicked himself for being so insensitive. He was beginning to sound like Two-Face.

'Damaged goods… such a pity…' The horrified expression on Edward's face informed him that Two-Face had just said that out loud. Shit…

"I'm-I'm not" Edward's stammering led to an enraged expression. The elevator doors opened and Edward composed himself. "I'm not going to the Joker's get together. He's only going to use it as an excuse to pulverize us for his shortcomings. I don't need any help getting home."

With that, Edward left a stunned Harvey and intrigued Dr. Crane.

"I could care less about attending the Joker's gala. I suppose I should just go lay low." Dr. Crane walked away after Ed, leaving a still stunned Harvey that had to agree. He was still tired from his restless night and needed a nap in his comfortable bed badly. After reaching the penthouse again, this time alone, he decided to check his security cameras. No doubt Joker would end up paying him a visit for his lack of cooperation.

Two-Face suddenly seized control and started rewinding the cameras in his bedroom.

'Oh my God. Really? Stop that! It's inappropriate!'

'I need to jerk one out after this cock blocking week of blue balls! Fuck off, you know you do too.' It was the truth. Harvey was ashamed to admit that he was looking forward to it.

There it was. They were carrying a drugged and half nude Nigma into their bedroom. Then Two-Face ripped off the remainder of clothing… then they hit the pause button. Not Harvey's proudest moment.

'Oh well.'

When 9:30 rolled around, and they were still fervently getting off to that one still frame for the 5th time, he decided that maybe they needed to pay Nigma a visit. He had to talk with him. They could possibly work something out. Maybe they could be his sexual guide. If he ever wanted it to stop it would stop, but Two-Face found himself growing obsessed. That never turned out well for the obsession.

Harvey called the driver and requested to drive himself. This would be relaxing. He would pay Edward a visit and they would work this out.


	6. Late Night Visit

WARNING: Not a pleasant chapter (non-con sorta kinda toward the end) & copious amounts of smut.

* * *

Ed was trying to settle down for the night. He was exhausted and mentally worn out.

"Thanks, Ivy. You whore…"

He threw himself onto his bed in the buff. His skin was too sensitive for clothing. He had managed to make it home before he was at his breaking point. The drug was still coursing through his system. He could feel it. He had called Ivy to complain. She just gave an unnerving "Oops! I guess I gave you the wrong batch. Give me some time to figure it out. Tah!"

"Fuck!" Everything was turning him on, the sheets, his pillow, the smells of his apartment, everything. He was at the point of tears. He had tried to work off his sexual frustration, but he was too sensitive to touch himself. He had tried a cold shower. The water burned. He looked at his clock. It blared 10:00 back at him in bright green. Ed got up again and moseyed into his small kitchen trying to think of something he could do to distract himself. Alcohol.

After grabbing a bottle of scotch that he rarely touched, he poured himself a generous glass. He downed it in a gulp. Maybe he could knock himself out.

He stumbled back into his bedroom.

Something was off. He had not left his window open. It was locked at all times as well. He reached for his cane, only to be caught off-guard by a firm white gloved hand on his wrist. He turned his head in the dark room and saw the moon reflecting a white face with an unmistakable smile.

"Dear dear Eddie. You seem to have not gotten the memo." His wrist was burning from the touch.

"What?" He was having trouble thinking through the haze of soft glove on skin. The Joker frowned, a bad sign if Eddie had not been completely out of his mind at this moment. The Joker slammed him into the wall behind him and proceeded to choke the shorter man.

"St-op…" The feeling was intoxicating. Another's touch was like liquid sex on his skin. He had never felt this much pleasure in his life. He felt himself start panting and making incoherent sounds. The Joker stalled in surprise then smirked.

"Been into Ivy's newest aphrodisiac, eh, Eddie?" How would he know what was going on? "My darling Harl mentioned something to me that she had heard from Ivy." He felt himself being maneuvered to his bed and carelessly tossed upon the sheets. "That also must mean that Two-Face didn't take advantage of his opportunity. Ivy was so certain his resolve would eventually break. That just means more fun for me." Edward really hated everyone right now; Harley for being a blabber mouth, Ivy for drugging him, Joker for trying to exploit it, and Two-Face for not taking advantage of it. His eyes widened in horror at that thought. Why did he want Two-Face to take advantage?

"To be honest, I was going to torture you. Maybe even kill you. But I can handle fucking you. You haven't even ever fucked before have you?" The smile on the Joker's face grew more cruel. Ed couldn't make himself talk. He was frightened and physically uncomfortable. He curled into the fetal position. How the hell was he going to get out of this?

The Joker ran a gloved hand along his side. A shiver wracked his body and he whimpered. This was going to be the worst night of his life.

"Hey now, Eddo. I'm doing you a favor. The only way to get it out of your body is ejaculation." The Joker started to lightly caress him, savoring every whimper and anxious shake of the Riddler's body.

Edward eventually felt the Joker crawl on top of him. He wanted to kick him away, but as soon as his hands touched Ed's legs he squirmed instead. The Joker flipped him onto his back out of the fetal position and started examining his nude form. "Not bad, Eddie. Not bad at all." A sickening smirk made Ed want to cry. The Joker started to reach between his legs when there was a loud knock on the door. Both Ed and the Joker were startled.

The Joker pulled out a ridiculous looking gun from his jacket and stalked up to the door. "Who is iiiit?" He sang sweetly through the door. Silence greeted him. Eventually he threw open the door only to be met with a fist.

* * *

Harvey had not anticipated the unmistakable voice of the Joker on the other side of the door. Edward was clearly in deep shit. He tried to think of how he could handle this situation when a pissed off Two-Face said, 'I'll handle it from here.'

As soon as the door opened, Two-Face went in swinging. A good call as a gun flew out of the Joker's hand. "Where's the Riddler?" he asked after grabbing the Joker's collar.

The Joker started laughing. "I've been fucking him in the other room."

That was it. All he knew when he came to was that the Joker was not in the best condition. He was a bloody unconscious pulp of black, blue, green, white and purple. He kicked him outside of the front door and phoned his men informing them to pick the mess up and give it back to Harley. After locking up, he went into the bedroom frightened of what he might find.

Edward was curled up on the bed shivering. He didn't seem to notice Harvey's presence. He looked completely out of it. There were no signs of love making.

"Please…" the whimpering voice coming from the bed sounded so weak. "Please… just… get it over with… Please…" Harvey reached out and touched Edward's cheek only to have the Riddler's skin flush in the moonlight as he cried out. Harvey snatched his hand away out of fear that he may have harmed him. "Please… fuck me…"

Two-Face wrenched control and started yanking off their clothing. After he was completely nude, he crawled onto the bed and proceeded to bite and lick at Ed's shoulder and neck. Every touch elicited a cry. Every breath brought forth a shiver. Every word Two-Face spoke resulted in a whimper or moan.

"Harvey?" He was so out of sorts.

"Close." Two-Face roughly pulled him onto his back and crawled between his legs. They were both already rock hard. Eddie was starting to look like he would explode if he didn't come soon.

"It hurts. Please hurry…" Despite the desperate plea, Two-Face couldn't stop himself from running a hand down the taut, lithe, chiseled chest. "Damn it! Just do it already!"

Two-Face spread Edward's legs, lifted him up and prepared to plunge into him until Harvey seized control. "Do you have lubricant?"

"What?" Eddie was now starting to sound delirious.

"Lubricant. Do you have any? Or lotion? Or something?"

"Why?"

'Dear God, this child is oblivious.' Harvey grumbled to himself as Two-Face tried to convince him to forego the lubrication.

"If you want to walk after this or ever again, I'd suggest telling me where some is." The Riddler started to cry, a disturbing yet power trip of a thing to see.

"I don't have any… Please, it hurts so much. Just make it stop. I don't care." He was begging.

"Wait right here." A cry of dismay escaped Ed's mouth as Harvey ran to the kitchen. After digging through the cabinets, he came across some olive oil.

'Perfect.'

'I still say we should take him raw.' Two-Face was helpful as always.

'No. What the hell is wrong with-Never mind. No.' He reentered the room only to find a heavily panting and whimpering ball of frustration. He doused his fingers liberally in olive oil and sat between the Riddler's legs.

"Relax." He gently grasped Edward with one hand, and slowly inserted a finger from his oil slicked hand. Edward grimaced and tensed up. "I said relax."

"It's weird." He complained in response.

"Don't think about it." He pushed in and out until he hit a spot that made Ed spasm. Inserting two fingers he patiently scissored as his reluctant partner grit his teeth. Finally, Harvey doused his member in the oil, and proceeded to push at his entrance.

"Fuck." He groaned. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Shhh." Harvey continued to push until he finally pushed by the tight ring. A choked sob informed him that he needed to slow down.

'Or speed up.' Two-Face took control and slammed in. Edward cried out and started scratching at his back, trying to remove him.

"Stop-stopstopstopstop!" Edward begged. Harvey tried. Dear God, he tried, but it was too overwhelming. Two-Face captured Ed's mouth in a violent kiss and relentlessly pounded into him until he finally couldn't take it anymore. Edward's erection couldn't go anywhere as much as he tried to will it away into oblivion. He so desperately did not want to be beneath Two-Face having his organs ripped out of him.

Harvey managed to regain enough control to at least get Edward off. Two-Face timed it so that they would finish together, not wanting to be the first to go. A choked cry was all he remembered hearing before Ed passed out. He soon followed.


	7. The Morning After

The first thing Harvey heard in the morning was the unmistakable click of a gun being cocked. The second thing he heard, as he tried to rouse himself from quite possibly the most satisfying nap he'd had in a long time, if not ever, was a loud bang as the hammer of the gun hit the gunpowder filled cap of a bullet. He was finally able to rise as he felt something hot sear his bicep.

He immediately met the haggard and frightened face of the Riddler just as he cocked the gun again. Harvey immediately lunged for the weapon and easily ripped it from Edward's trembling hands. Ed put up a slight struggle but was clearly too exhausted to resist much. That was when Harvey noticed it, the blood. There was dried blood around the bed and upon closer inspection it appeared to originate from the Riddler's lower extremities.

"Edward?" At the sound of his name, The Riddler fought to wake from his exhausted state.

"Go away." For the second time Harvey was given the demand to leave the Riddler's home.

'Got what we wanted anyway, right? Kind of sucks. Would have been more fun to keep it going.' Edward's face took on a strange mixture of emotion, pain, anger, confusion, exhaustion, and hurt. It took a minute before he realized that Two Face had spoken out of turn again.

"Just leave." Edward didn't bother looking at Harvey after that.

"But, you're hurt! I didn't-" The Riddler interrupted the tirade before Harvey got going.

"Just get the fuck out. You got what you wanted, right? Great. Now go." Harvey didn't know what to say. How could he salvage the situation?

"Is there anything I can do aside from leave?" Edward thought for a moment before answering.

"Yes. If you run into Harley, Joker or Ivy, tell them to go fuck themselves." He didn't want to go, until he realized that the Riddler had his cane and it was making an ominous whirring sound. Before a blinding flash of light hit, Two-Face made it out of the flat with nothing but the handful of clothing he snatched off of the floor.


	8. Hench Wenches Know Best

Edward Nigma was not the emotional type. He had never had the environment that nurtured emotional development growing up. No one was interested in how he felt, so eventually he just shut that part of himself down. When he was older he read a study of neglected babies that stopped crying to have their needs met because they had accepted that no one was coming. The article had made him feel a pang of something, something pointless.

That pang was coming back, but this time stronger than he had ever felt it. It was like the first time his father slapped him. A shock and numbing sensation followed by tears. He learned to not care about how his father hurt him, but this was a whole new ballgame. This was a new way of being hurt by someone that was not his father. For some reason, he felt like he was a three year old being punished for the first time again after his mother had left.

How was he supposed to deal with this? He slowly stepped out of his bed and immediately fell to the floor, cursing in pain.

"Focus on one detail at a time." He slowly and painfully managed to stand with the help of his nightstand and cane.

That was how problems were solved, doing a little at a time. Focusing on a small detail made problems not appear as overwhelming.

"Fuck." Usually he wasn't in pain when he was trying to concentrate though.

"What the hell happened here boss?" Echo and Query were now in his flat. Did his humiliation know no bounds? Maybe this was divine retribution for all that he had done to Gotham over the years. Echo was soon at his side taking in the scene.

"Think you can give me 10 minutes?"

"Um, sure." Query started to point to the soddened bloody sheets with her mouth open to say something. Thankfully Echo slapped her hand over Query's mouth and pulled her out of his bedroom closing the bedroom door behind her.

It took him around two hours, but he finally managed to shower (quite painful), dress (almost equally as painful), strip his bed, and throw the sheets into his bedroom trash bin. He was suddenly thankful he had never invested in a comforter. At the end of it all he yelled for Echo and Query to bring him lighter fluid and a match as he walked out to his piss-poor excuse of a balcony with the waste bin in tow.

Ten awkwardly silent minutes and an illegally burning waste bin on a back porch later.

"Um. So. Boss?" Ed turned his eyes from the smoldering fire to Query who ironically had a query. "What happened?"

"I'd rather not discuss it."


End file.
